glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
they're like a gay fantastic four
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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