hotel room ftw
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
How external is "for external use only"?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize