Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize