FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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