its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
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I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
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Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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