for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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