is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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