The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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