i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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