Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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