Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
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Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
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So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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