So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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