all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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