i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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