I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
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Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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