two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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