Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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