I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week š
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heās Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I feel kind of like weāre in a gang and tonight is one of those āpeople are gonna know not to fuck with usā type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. Iām not really sure how I got to this point in my lifeā¦ but I like it.
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