I skipped work to stalk him.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize