i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
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He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
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Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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