He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
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Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
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Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
FUCK WHALES
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