I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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