Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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