Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
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I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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