Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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