Umm I'm too high to move.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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