im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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