All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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