Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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