help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize