thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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