man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
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P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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