i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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