Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Sext me about skeletons
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The Olympian is in my bed
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize