if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
True strength comes from lack of pants
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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