not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
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you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
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So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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