I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize