Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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