we're blogging at a bar
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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