I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize