Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
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i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
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We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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