so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Your penis caused this!
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