I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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