he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
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And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
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not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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