nut hugger
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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