This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize