I can feel you judging me through the phone.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
foreskin is a definite game changer
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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