Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize