So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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