is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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